Now, I’m not saying that people who diet are wrong, not at all, if it works for you, great! But, perfection does not exist And perfection does not exist because EVERYONE is beautiful. No matter what they body size, colour or sex. I’m not saying that being thin is wrong, I’m just saying that it’s not for me.
At the beginning of last year, I made a pact to myself that I was going to lose something ridiculous like 35 kilos. I developed what I now realise was a pretty bad eating disorder because of this. In hindsight, I now know that I was practically starving myself, and it would get to the point that I was so hungry, and depressed, that I would binge. I would eat until I made myself sick. Then the guilt spiral would start all over again. I’d feel guilty about eating so much food, that I would start starving myself again. Now, of course I never got anywhere being on a diet, because I like to eat. I like food. Since I've sworn on dieting, a lot has changed for me. I don’t feel guilty about eating. I eat what I want, when I want. And, because I don’t have this looming diet cloud over my head all the time saying ‘are you sure you want to eat that’ I don’t feel guilty. And because I don’t feel guilty, I don’t binge. I am actually eating better now, than I ever have. My view to food has changed, something switched for me. I used to eat as much bad stuff as I could, when I could (read: when I was on my own and no one could judge me) because I knew that I wasn't ‘allowed’ to eat it. Now, if I want fast food, I’ll eat it. That doesn't mean I eat it every day, I don’t, but if I’m on my way to work and I feel like a sausage muffin, I’m going to stop and get one. I've even stopped having coffee every day. Not because I don’t like it, but because I don’t feel obligated to have one. I don’t feel obligated about anything regarding food any longer, and I’m much healthier, and better for it.
I've found a wonderful online community of body positive women. Women who have changed my view on life. Women who embrace what they have. Women who are fighting to be the change they want to see in the world. And this has been a monumental thing for me to discover. It’s changed my life.
Now, I've never really cared what people think of me as a person, but I certainly cared about what people thought about my body. I don’t anymore. I wore a bodycon skirt on Monday. And I rocked it. I’m wearing hemlines above the knee. I’m buying clothes that fit the body I have, instead of the body I used to want. And it’s fantastic to know that I can pull anything out of my wardrobe and know that it will fit me. I've purged every single ill-fitting item of clothing from my life. And it’s a wonderful feeling.
So, now I love my body. I love every wobble, and curve. Because no one, no one, should be made to feel like they aren't beautiful in the body they are in. Because self-love is so important. Because you CAN be healthy at ANY size. Because beauty standards should be changed.